Relationships

Diary: Reflections on a special Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day was an extra special one in our household this year as it was my first time celebrating it as a mum. As I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, it was always in the back of my mind that my road to motherhood could be a tough one but we were blessed to have Miss E come into our lives without struggle.

The past nine months have made me truly appreciate what my own mum went through with me, and there has been more love, tears, challenges and beautiful moments than I ever thought possible. The sacrifices made for motherhood are not small, and this year I found myself spending a lot of time reflecting on the true meaning of Mother’s Day (and not just seeing it as an opportunity to spend more money at the mall!).

mothers day

The pressure we put on ourselves

Last year I created three high teas spaced out throughout Mother’s Day; one for my mum, one for my mother-in-law, and one for my best friend’s mum who has been like a second mother to me. I absolutely loved doing this and did think long and hard about doing the same thing again this year. Then I thought about doing just one high tea and inviting the three mums for that but it would still require everyone to be there at the same time and the same amount of prep work.

It’s interesting that one thing I’ve noticed with my personal training clients who are mothers (actually, women in general for that matter, but especially mothers) is that they will frequently go and above and beyond to do things for others, often at the expense of their own health and wellness. I always tell them to ensure they take time out for themselves, as they are important as well.

Since coming out of hospital a few months ago I’ve barely had time to sit down between yoga school starting up again, taking on a new teaching job and starting a new mums and bubs training group with another personal trainer. After Miss E’s recent bout of sleepless nights thanks to teething, I’ve been left feeling like I’m running on empty and the thought of spending a large portion of my first Mother’s Day cooking, setting the table, entertaining and cleaning up afterwards frankly made me want to run in the opposite direction.

Instead I chose to take some of my own advice, and so in the end we opted to have a quiet one to really focus on our new little family celebrating my first time as a mama and give me the much-needed chance to rest, relax and reset.

What I really wanted for Mother’s Day

The husband really knocked this one out of the park. With very little prompting, he took Miss E first thing in the morning on Mother’s Day at her usual 6.30am wakeup time to play with her and feed her breakfast, leaving me to have a beautiful lazy sleep-in.

I didn’t have to cook a single meal all day (he made breakfast and lunch, and we ordered dinner out) and even managed to have a nap in the afternoon with Miss E as well.

Above all the material things in the world, this was exactly what I wanted and needed, and while writing this the next day I am feeling normal again! My energy feels restored, I can string a sentence together without stumbling over my words, and this morning when Miss E woke up I didn’t feel like rolling over in bed and putting the pillow over my head.

The husband also bought a little timer to go on the garden hose as I love my flower garden and it hasn’t been getting watered lately because I’m always worried I’ll forget to turn the irrigation hose off. So all my plants have been dying. Best present ever.

Chocolates and CDs and books and material possessions can be a lovely gesture of appreciation, but this Mother’s Day I’ve really noticed that some times the best gifts are not necessarily the ones we’d initially think of giving (and they’re often the ones that cost nothing at all)…

Mother’s Day is not a one-size-fits all

For those of you with children or mums still in your lives, or those who are pregnant and still waiting to be mums, I hope you had a lovely Mother’s Day filled with joy and a little recognition of the sacrifices mothers make in this crazy journey of life!

However, the typical one-size-fits-all Mother’s Day messages in gift cards, advertisements and malls can be a difficult reminder for some of us, so to all those who have lost their mamas, and those who want to be mamas but for whatever reason it hasn’t happened, much love and I hope you had a special Happy Mother’s Day too xx

Image / NZ Real Health

Ange is a personal trainer, yoga teacher, wife, and mother (with second bubba on the way!) based in Auckland, New Zealand.

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