Interview: Kelly Carthy – Health & Wellbeing coach
Life is crazy non-stop busy for most of us and finding a sense of balance can be tough if we don’t put some effort into making it happen. This really resonates with me right now, as I’m on the go with the toddler and baby all day, managing my personal training business alongside the blog, and helping my husband who just had shoulder surgery last week. At the end of the day after the kids are in bed and the house is reset, I’m lucky if I have 10 minutes to myself (and then it’s a choice of whether I answer my work emails, write a blog post, sit and vegetate in front of the television, shave my legs, or work on my the NZ Real Health Squad training programmes that I’m hoping to release this summer – there’s just not enough time in the day!). I’m all about finding the balance in life, and any tips that could help us achieve that are always useful.
Kelly Carthy is a leadership and mindset coach who is calling on women across New Zealand to embrace a culture of ‘being well’, in order to establish balance and meaning in life. Working with individuals, she is encouraging Kiwis to ‘live their life’ in every aspect, in order to feel empowered and to overcome the self-imposed blocks that prevent us from reaching our potential.
How can we balance work, family and most importantly self, as a busy woman?
Here’s Kelly’s view on why finding that sense of balance and alignment are so important, along with her five top tips to achieve it so that you can make better choices and prioritise what’s most important in your life now.
Why is life balance and alignment so important?
Life is about choices and prioritising what is most important to achieve a result that works best for all parties involved.
Creating a better alignment in our life between the various roles we play and the responsibilities we take on, is about understanding who we are at the core and ensuring our own needs are met. This gives us the strength, stamina and head space to be able to take on the goals we choose to. Whether it is starting a business or setting a fitness target, you can find the time and space to do it when you are committed to achieving alignment first and foremost with yourself.
Understand what really matters
Often, we believe that we are ‘very busy’ but a lot of our time is spent spinning plates and not being as effective as we could be. To get a clear idea of how you are actually spending time, take a week and observe each moment of your day.
What are the areas of your life you could delegate? Look at the areas of your life that matter to you and then work out how to ensure you prioritise these in some way throughout your week.
It is easy to get caught up in our to do list, in taking action and being busy but not really achieving the outcome we desire. Setting yourself up for success in the day involves getting a clear understanding of what is realistically achievable and then celebrating your achievements instead of beating yourself up for what didn’t get done.
Ask intelligent questions throughout the day
By asking yourself questions like:
- What is my purpose for doing this?
- Am I being effective with my time?
- Is this the most important thing that I could be doing right now?
You are able to maintain a level of self-awareness through your day and avoid getting stuck in mindless activity.
Create blank space
Creating blank space in my day has been a saving grace in my life. Simply pausing between my commitments to others, to stand still and breathe a few deep breaths allows me to reconnect to and recommit to myself. This enables me to gain space in a busy day.
Lean in to support
One of the most challenging things for strong women to do is to accept support from others. Creating a support network of women who share your values and similar life circumstances (kids, career and commitments) can keep things in perspective when challenges set in. A network creates a safe space for you to lean into and work through any vulnerability.
A true peer will create a safe space for you to be heard without buying into your story of struggle, then work with you to create solutions in your life. The more of these types of relationships we have, the better we become at keeping ourselves in check for when we are not living up to our own commitments and to importantly, balance what’s most important.
Reflect and realign regularly
Set time aside to extract yourself from your everyday life. Review what’s working well and what needs to be changed. By making a commitment to yourself to revisit your schedule and goals regularly, this paves the way for more clarity and direction in your life, enabling you to live in closer alignment to your own ideals.
Creating a life of balance when your commitments are high requires work and constant review. There is no perfect balance as it is not a static state. In my experience, the more you surrender to its flow and fluctuations, the freer life becomes.
Kelly is currently working on a book, ‘Just Be You (or Be You) How the f&*% do I do that?’ to share her insights and strategies on how you can ‘be’ to ensure thousands of other people from all walks of life and across the globe can understand the culture of ‘being well’ to change their lives forever.
Image / Supplied